


Everything I Do Is For You

by WhispersInTheWing



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blizzards & Snowstorms, Child Death, Consensual Sex, M/M, Mpreg, Parent/Child Incest, Pregnant Dean Winchester, Wetting, breech delivery, difficult birth, graphic birth, home birth, mpreg Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-08-23 03:32:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8312374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhispersInTheWing/pseuds/WhispersInTheWing
Summary: Dean had his entire delivery planned out to the minute, there wasn't a detail he had overlooked. What he didn't plan for was going into labor a month early while John was away on a hunt, and being trapped by a blizzard with only his brother to help deliver his child.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! So this is my first time writing the Dean/John pairing, but this idea came into my head a few months ago and that seemed to be the only pairing my muse wanted. This is also my first time writing an actual birth scene, so go easy on me.
> 
> Much Love, S

Dean placed a hand on his heavy belly, swearing under his breath as he tried to get up off the couch. John was in South Dakota helping Bobby with a hunt, Sammy wasn’t due home from school for at least another 15 minutes, and Dean _really_ had to pee. And the baby was not helping things by deciding to use his bladder like a punching bag.

“Come on buddy, help me out here,” Dean murmured, rubbing circles over the taut flesh. He hoped that if he talked to the life growing inside him, it would distract him from his full bladder long enough until Sam got home to help him up. Dean pushed the coffee table further away from the couch with his foot before trying to get up again.

The pressure in his bladder released suddenly, warmth spreading over his thighs and pooling under his ass. Dean paused, shame creeping across his face. The research he’d done online had said it was normal to have … accidents the later into the pregnancy it got with the added constant pressure against his bladder, and Dean was almost 8 months along, but that still didn’t stop him from feeling mortified and ashamed. Dean also couldn’t stop the flood of tears that followed, streaking down his face as he sobbed. Sam would never let him live it down if he found out he’d wet himself, but he couldn’t get up off the couch to dispose of the evidence.

\--------------------

Sam opened the door to their small two story house, tossing his backpack on the kitchen table. “Dean I’m home!” He yelled as he grabbed a coke from the fridge and took a long drink. “Dean?”

Sam waited for a reply. Maybe Dean was taking a nap in his room, or listening to music and hadn’t heard him come home. Silence settled over the house as Sam downed his drink. It was then that Sam heard quiet crying coming from the living room. Sam raced into the living room, stopping dead in his tracks at the sight of his disheveled older brother.

“Dean, what’s wrong? Is it the baby?” Sam asked as he strode across the room. He sat down on the couch next to Dean, pausing as the pungent smell of urine hit his nose. Sam didn’t acknowledge Dean’s damp sweatpants; he knew it would only upset his brother even more than he already was. Sam rose from the couch and turned around, sliding his hands under Dean’s armpits and lifting him to his feet. “I bet your back is bothering you again, huh? I’m sure a nice hot bath will be just the thing you need,” Sam said as he helped his brother into the bathroom they shared.

He sat Dean down on the toilet before bending down to turn on the water. “Why don’t you get out of those sweatpants and toss them into the hall. I gotta wash my slacks for a presentation at school tomorrow, and need a full load. And I bet you’d be more comfortable in shorts.”

Sam added a capful of the vanilla bath oil that Dean loved so much and turned off the water. He helped Dean out of his shirt and between the two of them they managed to get Dean into the bath. Dean couldn’t hold back the relieved sigh as the warm water relaxed his tense muscles.

“Feel better?” Sam asked as he gathered up Dean’s soiled sweatpants and some towels that had been left in the hamper.

Dean nodded. “Thanks Sammy … for everything.” He looked up, meeting his brother’s eyes without fear of ridicule. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, little brother.”

Sam smiled, running a hand through Dean’s sweaty bangs. “Of course Dean, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. You know that. And you also know that you can tell me anything without being afraid of how I’ll react. I don’t want you to be ashamed to talk to me.” Sam knew that he was treading on dangerous territory, but he wanted Dean to feel more comfortable around him.

“I know Sammy. You’ve been pretty chill about this whole pregnancy, more than I thought you would be. You still love me … right? You don’t think what dad and I are doing is wrong?” Dean couldn’t help but ask. He and John had been in an intimate relationship for about a year, and Dean needed to know that Sam didn’t think he was a sick person.

“I will always love you Dean. You’re my brother, nothing you do could ever be wrong. I just wish that you had told me from the beginning instead of hiding it,” Sam replied truthfully.

“But it’s … it’s not normal,” Dean whispered, shame coloring his cheeks.

Sam couldn’t help but laugh. “Dean, nothing about our lives has ever been normal. And what’s normal to some people isn’t normal to others. And you’re over 18, so it’s not like dad’s taking advantage of you. You two have been good about keeping the more intimate stuff behind closed doors, so I can’t really complain about anything. As long as this is what you want, then I’ll support you. You’re my brother Dean. Nothing will ever change that. I promise you that nothing in this world could ever make me stop loving you.”

Dean let out a shaky breath, tears sliding silently down his cheeks. “I love you too Sammy,” he said softly.

“I’ll leave you to your soak. Holler if you need anything,” Sam remarked before turning and exiting the bathroom, leaving the door cracked a little. Sam had a feeling that Dean would probably be embarrassed later about what had transpired, but they would cross that bridge when they came to it.

And it was true what he had told Dean. He didn’t really have a problem with what John and Dean did behind closed doors, but he was a bit upset that they felt they’d had to sneak around behind his back like a couple of horny teenagers. It felt like a stab in the heart that they didn’t trust him not to flip out. Granted he had freaked out a little when he walked in on them that first time almost a year ago, after soccer practice had been canceled, but he had gotten over it. It was the fact that they had been hiding it for close to three months that bothered Sam the most.

Sam shook his head, shoving the memories back where they came from. He gave Dean the silent treatment for weeks, even when he saw how much it hurt his brother. Sam stuffed the dirty clothes into the washing machine and turned it on. He didn’t really have a presentation at school tomorrow, but what Dean didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean sighed as the water took pressure off his back and hips, giving him a much needed reprieve from the discomfort. A twinge across his stomach took his breath away and Dean sat up straight. _It’s just Braxton-Hicks, not the real thing. It can’t be the real thing yet._ Dean told himself, rubbing soothing circles on the tight flesh of his belly. He still had a month before his due date, before his son would make his arrival. John was still at least a week away from being done with the Vamp hunt in South Dakota and he needed to be here for the birth.

Dean let out a breath he wasn’t aware he’d been holding as the false contraction passed. “We’re okay baby, you just need to wait a few more weeks,” Dean murmured softly to the squirming child inside him. “At least a few more days until your dad can make it home, okay?” Dean closed his eyes, hoping to catch up on the sleep that he’d not been getting at night.

Minutes passed before Dean was woken by a pain ripping through his abdomen. His eyes shot open and he looked down, crying out in shock as the water turned a pale pink. “SAMMY!”

Sam dropped the book he was reading at Dean’s terrified shout. He jumped up from the couch and raced towards the bathroom, a million different scenarios running through his head. “I’m coming Dean!” Sam slid to a stop beside the tub, where his brother was trying and failing to keep tears from falling. “What’s wrong?!”

Dean looked up at Sam, fat tears sliding down his cheeks. “Something’s not right Sammy! I-I think I’m bleeding! You have to help me Sammy! I can’t lose the baby now!”

Sam leaned over and pulled the plug from the tub, watching the pink water flow down the drain. “Let’s get you out of the tub and dry before you catch a cold. Then I’ll drive you to the hospital, okay? Everything’s going be okay Dean, I promise. I won’t let anything happen to either of you.” Sam helped Dean to his feet, wrapping an oversized fluffy towel around his brother’s body. 

“Wh-why is this happening Sammy? God’s punishing me isn’t he?” Dean asked as Sam led him into the master bedroom. Sam sat Dean on the bed, bending down to dry Dean’s legs and feet.

“Breathe Dean, just take deep breaths,” Sam instructed calmly. “God is not punishing you Dean. I know it’s scary and you’re freaking out right now, but you’re not going to lose the baby.”

“How can you know that Sam? How can you know that I’m not going to lose the baby?” Dean cried, hiding his head in his hands as he sobbed.

Sam squeezed Dean’s knee, waiting for his brother to cry himself out. “I’ll have to check, but I think that was your water breaking. Dean … you’re in labor. Some of the books I read said that there might be some blood, but that it’s nothing to worry about unless the bleeding doesn’t stop. And every book said that it’s not uncommon in carrier pregnancies to have a bit more blood when your water breaks.” Sam stood and moved to the dresser, pulling out a thin nightgown. “Here we go Dean. I figured you’d want to be covered up, and this way you won’t be completely exposed.” Sam helped Dean into the nightgown and propped up against the pile of pillows.

Dean took a shaky breath before turning red-rimmed eyes up to his brother. “Thanks Sammy. I-I’m sorry I freaked out like that earlier, but I’m not due for at least another month. I’m not ready for this yet. I have nothing packed yet.”

Sam sighed, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “You just sit here, stay calm and relax. I will pack a duffel bag for you for when it’s time to go to the hospital. But there’s no point in going to the hospital yet when your contractions have just started.” Sam pulled out his cellphone and started recording.

“Sam, what the heck are you doing?” Dean asked, trying to cover his blotchy face with his hands. “Don’t, I look awful.”

“I figured since dad is still in South Dakota, that it’d be nice to send him some videos and pictures. That way he doesn’t miss anything. But if you don’t want me to I won’t,” Sam remarked with a shrug.

Dean couldn’t help but smile at his brother’s idea. “No go ahead, I don’t mind. Dad will really like that Sammy.”

\-----------

John looked up from his journal at the sound of his phone going off. He and Bobby had just finished clearing the Vamp nest that had holed up in the mountains outside of town, and John planned to head home in the morning after a full night’s sleep. Apparently that wasn’t going to happen now with his phone chiming from the nightstand. He reached over, grabbing the phone and scrubbing a hand across his beard. There was a new video message and with a yawn, John hit play.

Sam’s face filled the screen and John smiled. _“Hey dad! It’s about 3pm on January 8th, and Dean’s water just broke. The contractions have just started so we haven’t gotten around to timing them yet. Dean seems pretty comfortable right now, but we both know it won’t stay that way for long.”_ The camera panned over to his oldest son’s red-blotched face. Dean gave the camera a tired smile, hand absentmindedly rubbing circles on his stomach.

 _“I hope you’re almost finished with the hunt, but if you’re not, that doesn’t mean I want you to dump the hunt on someone else and rush home. The last thing the three of us here need is for you to get pulled over or in an accident. Sammy says I could be in labor for a couple days with it being my first, so there’s plenty of time for you to get home. Drive safe.”_ Dean shoved playfully at Sam’s shoulder, pushing the camera away.

 _“Dean’s right dad. Drive safe and don’t panic. We’ve got things handled on this end until you get home. I’ll keep Dean and the little one safe, I promise. See you soon.”_ The video ended shortly after and John couldn’t help the tears that welled in his eyes. As calm and collected as his boys had come across in the video, John knew they were both freaking out on the inside. Dean wasn’t due for another month, which meant that the chances of something going wrong were greater. John needed to get home as soon as possible.

He stood, hastily shoving clothes into his bag. Bobby would understand him not staying for their celebratory post-hunt beer; his sons always came first. “Bobby I have to go, Dean’s water broke!” John shouted as he shouldered the bedroom door open.

Bobby slammed through the front door, stomping mud from his boots. “You ain’t going anywhere. The river jumped the banks and washed out the road a few miles from here. We’re stuck here until the storm passes. Ranger says it could be 3 days at least. I’m sorry John,” Bobby explained as he shrugged off his coat.

“Shit,” John swore, dropping his bag at his side. “I have to call Sam and let him know I won’t make it home in time. Dean is going to freak out, I can feel it.” He fished out his cell and dialed their home number.

_“Winchester residence, Sam speaking.”_

“Hey Sam, it’s me. How’s everything at home?” John asked as he moved to take his bag back to his room.

_“Things are good. Dean’s contractions are about 17 minutes apart and are lasting about 20 seconds. He says they aren’t too painful right now, nothing he can’t handle yet. How’s the hunt going?”_

“The hunt went well, neither of us got hurt. There’s a reason why I called. It’s been raining pretty heavily here for the past couple of days and the road’s been washed out. The Parks Department says it could be at least 3 days before the water recedes enough for us to cross. I uh … I don’t think I’ll make it home in time to be there for the birth. Tell Dean I’m sorry.”

_“Of course dad. I understand and Dean will too. This wasn’t anything you could’ve prevented.”_

“Thanks Sammy. I’ll call you if the road conditions change. Tell Dean I love him and that I’ll get home as soon as I safely can.”

_“I will. He loves you too, and so do I. I’ll call when we get Dean settled in at the hospital.”_


	3. Chapter 3

Sam and John said their goodbyes and hung up the phone. “Bad news Dean,” Sam began as he made his way back into the master bedroom. He’d gone into the kitchen to get Dean a glass of ice chips when his phone had rung.

“What is it? Is dad hurt?” Dean asked, straining to sit up and swing his legs over the edge of the bed.

“No it’s nothing like that, dad and Bobby are fine. Apparently there’s a nasty storm in the mountains and the road got washed out by the river. They’re stuck there until the water clears. He says 3 days at the earliest. He wanted me to tell you he’s sorry and that he loves you. And that as soon as he safely can, he’ll get home.”

Dean’s eyes widened in panic and his vision tunneled. “No! No I don’t want to do this without him! We—we had everything planned and now I don’t know what to do!” Dean panicked, breath coming in short, fast pants. He could feel his stomach tightening with a fierce contraction and he cried out in pain.

Sam set the cup on the nightstand and dropped to his knees in front of his anxious older brother. “Dean, you need to calm down. This is the absolute worst time to panic. Take deep breaths in and out; like the Lamaze classes remember?” Sam took Dean’s hands in both of his and squeezed gently to grab his brother’s attention. Together, they got Dean’s breathing back under control before he blacked out.

“I’m sorry I freaked like that Sammy. Everything’s just happening so fast now and I can’t keep up. What am I going to do?” Dean asked, tears drying on his cheeks. His emotions were all over the place, and it only stressed him out more.

Sam placed a hand on the swell of Dean’s stomach. “This is what you’re going to do Dean. You’re going to relax, because the two of us can handle this. I know it’s scary that we have to do this without dad, but if anyone can, it’s us. You’re going to be in very capable hands at the hospital. Dr. Wheeler will be there and so will Nurse Wendy, your two favorite people there. And I won’t leave your side Dean, I promise.”

Dean nodded, not quite trusting his voice to be steady yet. He took a deep breath as the baby gave Sam’s hand a nudge. “Well we might as well go about our day until this little one decides to make their appearance. Help me up Sammy; I’m not lying in bed for the next who knows how many hours like an invalid.”

Sam stood and helped Dean slowly rise to his feet, the gravid globe of his stomach throwing off his balance. They stood at the side of the bed for a few moments until Dean felt confident that he wouldn’t tip over with the first step. “I don’t know about you Sammy, but we have a hankering for pancakes,” Dean chuckled, rubbing comforting circles across his stomach.

“Sounds good to me. Can you get to the kitchen by yourself while I go and get it started?” Sam asked, hand hovering at Dean’s elbow. He didn’t want to come off as smothering, but he also didn’t want Dean to fall and hurt himself or the baby.

“Yeah, I’m steady now. Thanks Sammy,” Dean replied with a genuine smile. He waited until Sam had left the room before letting out the pained breath he’d been holding. He didn’t want to worry Sam, but the contractions were starting to get closer together and increase in intensity already. Apparently when a Winchester decides it’s time to make an entrance, there’s no stopping it. He just hoped that the little one waited until they got to the hospital. Dean rubbed the underside of his belly. “No making an early appearance, you hear me?” He whispered softly.

Dean followed the tantalizing aroma of freshly made pancakes into the kitchen. “Mmm those smell delicious Sammy! Blueberry and chocolate chip?”

Sam laughed as Dean sat down at the table. “Yes Dean, with the real maple syrup from Trader Joe’s just the way you like it. I know the fake stuff makes you sick during the pregnancy.” Sam set a plate piled high with pancakes and a bottle of maple syrup in front of Dean with a smile.

“Thanks Sammy! You’re the best little brother ever!” Dean exclaimed as he dug into the syrupy sugary stack.

The two of them ate breakfast in relative silence, until a particularly hard contraction caused Dean to groan loud. Sam looked at his watch as the contraction reached its peak, timing it to see if they were increasing in length yet.

“They seem to be staying steady for now; this one’s lasting only about five seconds longer than the first. How’s the pain?” Sam asked once the contraction had ended.

Dean grimaced, trying to coax his still tense muscles to relax. “That one was about a five. It isn’t so much that it’s painful, but it comes out of nowhere so I can’t prepare myself for the pain. But enough about me Sammy. I never got to ask you how school was today.”

Sam smirked. “It was okay I guess. We had a pop quiz in calculus that I’m pretty sure I bombed. Mr. Peterson made us run laps outside for P.E. and it’s like 20 degrees outside! I think I froze my nuts off!”

Dean laughed, throwing his head back like Sam was used to. He swiped at his eyes jokingly as he finished the last bites of his afternoon breakfast. “That was delicious Sammy. Now help me up.” Dean held his arms out, motioning for Sam to heave him up out of the chair.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know things seem to be progressing faster than a normal pregnancy would, but I figured I could take some artistic liberties seeing as how it's mpreg and nothing about it is normal.
> 
> Much Love, S

“I hate this!” Dean keened as he rocked back and forth. He was on his hands and knees on the bed, trying to alleviate the intense pressure in his lower belly and hips. The gravid globe of his stomach brushed the mattress as he panted. The contractions had sped up drastically after Dean’s meal, and as it neared the late evening hours, were holding steady at 6 minutes apart and lasting nearly a minute.

Sam knelt beside Dean on the bed, rubbing the small of his back and speaking soft, encouraging words. “You can do this Dean. You’re so strong. Before you know it, this’ll all be over and you’ll have a beautiful son to spoil rotten.” Sam looked over at the tripod that they’d set up across the room to document the baby’s journey into the world. Sam wasn’t sure if Dean was even aware it was recording anymore.

Dean shook his head, letting out a sobbing breath as the contraction eased off. “I can’t do this Sammy. I can’t! I’m not ready yet! I was supposed to have another month to get ready!” He collapsed onto his side, pulling his knees up towards his stomach. Tears burned in Dean’s eyes and he blinked them away before they could snake down his face.

Sam reached out and rubbed small circles on the side of Dean’s belly. He wished there was more he could do to ease not only his brother’s pain, but his fears as well. “You think it’s time to head to the hospital?” Sam asked.

Dean nodded, closing his eyes briefly. “Y-yeah, I think it’s time. We need to pack my bag first.”

“Okay, tell me what you want me to pack,” Sam said as he grabbed the duffel bag from the closet and set it on the bed.

Dean shook his head again, pushing himself up on his elbow. “I need to pack the bag myself. All the pregnancy books say it’ll help keep me grounded and calm. But you can grab my toiletries from the bathroom because I know I’ll forget those otherwise,” Dean remarked. Sam helped him to his feet before slipping off into the bathroom to get Dean’s toothbrush, toothpaste and deodorant. Dean shuffled to the dresser, rifling through the clothes and pulling out what he wanted to wear to and from the hospital. He smiled as he came across one of his favorite shirts of John’s. It was a soft gray cotton t-shirt with a faded gold USMC emblem on the front. He added it to the ever growing pile on the bed. 

Dean groaned out as another contraction rippled across his belly. He put one hand against the dresser and the other on the underside of his hardening stomach as the contraction slowly reached its peak. This was by far the worst contraction yet. The pain stole his breath away; it was like no other pain he’d ever felt before. “Sammy! Sammy, we gotta go now! The contractions are getting closer together!” Dean shouted, almost falling to his knees.

Sam ran back into the bedroom, depositing the toiletries on the bed and rushing to his brother’s side. “Just breathe, Dean. When this contraction is over we’ll pack up and get you to the hospital.” Sam’s voice cut through the pain, letting Dean get his bearings.

“Go … and get the car started. I’m not going anywhere for a while,” Dean remarked with a dry chuckle.

Sam nodded and grabbed the Impala’s keys from the dresser. He disappeared down the stairs to the garage. Dean took deep, even breaths as he leaned more weight against the old oak dresser, each one ending in a low groan.

“YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!” Sam’s exasperated shout sounded from downstairs.

“Everything alright down there Sammy?” Dean called as he shuffled to the doorway once the contraction had let up. “Please don’t tell me the car’s out of gas.”

Sam trudged back into the house, looking up at Dean at the top of the stairs. “No the car is not out of gas, but we won’t be going anywhere anytime soon. It’s a fucking blizzard out there; I can’t see more than 5 feet in front of me. Looks like we’re snowed in,” Sam replied as he stomped snow from his boots. “I know you’re nervous and you planned on delivering at the hospital, but there is no way I’m going to endanger your lives by trying to drive in that storm, especially at night like this. I would never forgive myself if I got us into a wreck. I’m sorry Dean.”


	5. Chapter 5

Dean closed his eyes to battle against the nausea that rose in his throat. “You’re right Sammy. It would be stupid to try to drive in the snow. But maybe you should call for an ambulance, you know just in case we need the paramedics,” Dean said shakily, hoping his voice didn’t betray his fear.

“Okay Dean. Why don’t you go lie down in bed while I do that? I’ll be up in a minute.” Sam pulled out his cellphone and dialed 911.

_“911, what’s your emergency?”_

“I have a person in premature labor and we’re snowed in. There’s no way we can drive to the hospital.”

_“How far apart are the contractions?”_

“6 minutes last I checked, but they’re getting closer together.”

_“Female or male carrier? And how premature?”_

“Male carrier. He’s at least a month early.”

_“Has his water already broken?”_

Sam nodded. “Yes, his water broke at about 3 this afternoon.”

_“What is your location, sir?”_

Sam rattled off their address as he listened for any sign that Dean was in trouble in the upstairs bedroom. Low pained groans filtered down the stairs.

_“I can’t promise that an ambulance will be able to reach you in time before he delivers; we’ve had an influx of calls since the snow started falling and all of our units are out responding. Our units are answering calls based on triage, with the more urgent, life-threatening calls taking priority. I’ve put you near the top of the list but there are at least 6 calls ahead of you. The best thing for you to do is sit tight and let this run its course. His body naturally knows what to do; listen to his body and if he feels the urge to push, let him push.”_

“Thank you so much.” Sam hung up the phone and shoved it back in his pocket. “Shit,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. He hurried up the stairs, taking them two at a time. He hated even the short time he’d left Dean by himself, when he left his brother to suffer through painful contractions alone.

Sam found Dean on his knees on the floor at the foot of the bed, struggling through another contraction. He’d stripped out of the nightgown, which had been tossed into a corner of the room and a sheet of sweat covered his body. “Let me guess, they won’t be able to get here for a while?” Dean asked with a grimace.

“Yeah, pretty much. They’ve had a lot of calls all at once since it started snowing. They’ll try to get here as soon as they can, but it’s looking like they won’t get here before the baby does,” Sam explained, dropping down to his knees beside his brother. “And by the looks of things, this baby’s going to be here any minute now. Winchesters really know how to make an entrance, don’t we?”

Dean chuckled. “Yeah we sure do.” Dean relaxed visibly as the contraction ended. “I don’t know if I can do this Sammy. I’m scared. What if I do something to hurt the baby?”

Sam rubbed Dean’s lower back as he thought about his next words. “I know you’re scared Dean, and it’s okay to be scared. To be honest, I’m a little scared myself. But I know we can do this together. The dispatcher says the best thing for us to do is listen to your body; if you feel the urge to push, then push. And think about it. People have been having babies without hospitals for hundreds of years. You got this, Dean.”

Dean looked over at Sam, smiling tiredly. “Thanks Sammy, that means a lot to me. I know I freaked out, and that it probably won’t be the last time I do, but thanks for keeping me levelheaded. The baby’s gonna have the best uncle in the world.”

Dean groaned suddenly, gripping the footboard tightly. “I-I think … something doesn’t feel right Sammy. I’m pretty sure I’m gonna be sick.”

Sam jumped to his feet and grabbed the wastebasket from the bathroom. He set it down in front of Dean and rubbed his brother’s back while he emptied the contents of his stomach.

“Ugh, those pancakes do not taste as good coming back up,” Dean muttered, tears and snot running down his face as he gagged.

Sam grabbed a dirty towel from the hamper and wiped Dean’s face. “Should I call dad? Maybe he knows what to do. Talking to him might make you feel better.” He pulled his cellphone from his jeans, not trusting the land line to stay connected, and dialed their father’s number.

_“This is John.”_

“Hey dad, it’s Sam again.”

_“Hey Sam, how’s it going? Are you about ready to head to the hospital?”_

“We’re not going to make it to the hospital. There’s a blizzard and it is way too dangerous for me to try to drive in it. I called 911 and they’re going to try to get an ambulance here, but they’ve had so many calls in such a short amount of time that it could take a while.”

_“How’s Dean? Have the contractions gotten any closer together?”_

“Yeah, the contractions are only a couple minutes apart now. But Dean’s not doing so hot. He’s in a lot of pain and he just threw up. He said that something doesn’t feel right.”

_“The throwing up is probably because of how bad the pain is; Mary threw up quite a lot when she was in labor with you. Put me on speaker so I can talk to Dean.”_

Sam turned the speakerphone on and set the phone on the bed. “Okay, you’re on speaker.”

_“Dean, can you hear me? How are you holding up?”_

Dean groaned through the start of another contraction. “It hurts so much. I think something’s wrong, but I don’t know what.”

_“Don’t worry Dean, we’ll get you through this. Now I’m going to ask Sam to do something that’s going to feel really uncomfortable, but it’ll help give me an idea of what’s wrong. Sam I want you to gently press down on the top of Dean’s stomach and tell me what you feel.”_

Sam pressed his hands on the top of Dean’s rock hard stomach, the older boy hissing in pain. “Dad, I feel a head!” Sam panicked.

_“That’s what I was afraid of. The baby hasn’t turned and its head can’t engage with the birth canal. Sam, you’re going to have to try and coax the baby to flip around from the outside.”_

Sam paled. “But what if I hurt Dean or the baby? Dad, don’t make me do this please.” His lip trembled at the thought of having to inflict pain on Dean, who was barely keeping himself from screaming as it was.

_“I know you don’t want to hurt them, son. But Dean or the baby could die if you don’t. If Dean can’t deliver soon, the baby will go into distress. You have to do it Sam. You can do it, I believe in you.”_


	6. Chapter 6

Dean whined as the contraction refused to let up, the sound turning guttural as he tried not to break down. “Sammy, please. You have to do it now. My stomach is killing me, I don’t know how much longer I can hold out,” Dean pleaded.

_“Work with the contractions; it’ll make it easier to turn the baby. When the contraction hits, press on the side of the baby’s head and hopefully the contracting muscles will help turn it. I’ll stay with you on the line. I’m not going anywhere. You’re both doing such a good job, I’m proud of you both.”_

Sam placed trembling hands on Dean’s stomach and pressed down, wincing at the pained yelp Dean let out. “Come on baby, you need to turn,” He muttered as he pressed harder. He let out a defeated breath as the contraction ended and the baby was still in the same position.

Dean keened, curling over his stomach as tears streamed down his face. Sam panicked, trying to calm Dean down. “Shh, it’s okay Dean. I’ll just have to try again. We’ll get the baby turned and you’ll be holding him in your arms before you know it. I won’t let anything happen to you or him.”

Dean opened his mouth to speak, instead heaving into the trashcan. It was obvious to Sam that Dean was in immeasurable amounts of pain and he needed to try harder to help his brother and unborn nephew.

“Another contraction,” Dean moaned. “Dad, I gotta push!”

_“No Dean, you can’t push until the baby gets turned. You’re only going to wear yourself out. Sam, there’s no more time for waiting. This needs to happen now or Dean’s in trouble.”_

Sam decided to try a different tactic than just pressing against the head like before. He placed a hand on the top of Dean’s stomach near the head and the other at the bottom near where the baby’s feet should be. “Deep even breaths, Dean. I’m going to try turning him again,” Sam said and began pushing down on the skin, hoping to turn the baby like a wheel. Nothing happened at first, and Sam nearly cried out in frustration. His father would never forgive him if he let his sons die.

Dean bit back a groan, praying to whatever God was listening that his baby would turn soon. Sam’s sudden exclamation pulled Dean back to the present.

“What is it Sam?”

Sam looked up at Dean and smiled. “It’s working! He’s turning!” Dean let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding when Sam shouted. He moaned in a mix of pain and relief as he too felt his son turn head down.

_“Okay, things are probably going to progress a lot faster now that it’s turned. Sam you need to check and make sure Dean is dilated before he starts pushing. I’ll stay on the phone with you and coach you through it as best I can.”_

“Dean, I’m going to go and grab some towels and supplies from the bathroom. Just breathe through the contractions and don’t push,” Sam stated as he jumped to his feet and raced into the bathroom. He gathered as many towels as he could carry and a pair of scissors and returned to Dean’s side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that was such a short chapter, but I felt it was a good place to stop before things start happening faster.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I'm back with a brand new chapter! Warning for graphic birth scene!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Much Love, S

Sam could hear Dean and John talking softly to one another.

_“You can do this Dean. You’re so strong, just like your mom. She’d be so proud of you. I love you so much.”_

“I wish you were here with us. It doesn’t feel right doing this without you. I-I love you too. You promise you’re gonna stay on the line the whole time?” Dean asked, running a shaking hand through his sweat-soaked hair.

_“I promise. I won’t leave you for a second.”_

Sam laid down the towels under and around Dean, taking a moment to rub Dean’s back gently. “I’m gonna have to check you now. This is probably going to feel weird for a minute, but I’ll try to be quick.”

Dean shook his head, grabbing Sam’s wrist tightly as another contraction took hold. Tears streamed down his face, mouth open in a silent scream. He started to bear down without realizing it; he just wanted it to be over.

“Dean! Dean, you have to breathe! Dean!” Sam shouted in panic. He tried to catch his brother’s frantic gaze as it darted around the room, as if Dean were looking for an escape. Dean’s face turned a deep shade of red as he gripped Sam’s wrist tighter, grinding the bones together painfully.

 _“Dean, listen to your brother. You need to breathe if you’re going to bring our child into the world.”_ John’s voice cut through the fear that had taken over Dean.

Dean let out the breath he’d been holding in a ragged sob, sucking in huge gulps of air. He collapsed against Sam, face red as he tried to catch his breath. “This is way harder than I expected. I don’t know if I can do this Sammy.”

Sam wrapped his arms around Dean, grounding his brother. “Of course you can do this Dean. You just have to believe that you can. Now on the next contraction, I want you to push. Okay?”

Dean nodded, wiping the tears and snot from his face onto Sam’s shirt. “Ugh, sorry about your shirt Sammy.”

Sam chuckled. “It’s okay Dean, it’s just a shirt. Are you ready?” 

Dean rose back to his knees, gripping Sam’s biceps for support. “No, but let’s do this.”

“I need you to take a deep breath and push down towards your bottom when you feel a contraction.” Sam’s voice was calm and steady as he held his brother’s gaze.

The only response he got from Dean was a pained groan, and a tightening of the grip on his arms as Dean started to bear down. “You’re doing great Dean. Push with the contraction, use the pain. I’m right here with you, just remember that.” Sam murmured soft words of encouragement to his brother, hoping that Dean could hear him.

Dean let out a short pained scream as he gave another push as the contraction intensified. He could feel the baby’s head slowly sliding down his channel and beginning to stretch his opening as he grunted through the end of the contraction. “Oh god Sammy! It hurts!”

 _“You can do this Dean. You’re doing so great. I love you."_ John’s deep rumble brought a tired smile to Dean’s face.

Dean spread his knees farther apart and fell forward onto his hands as another contraction took hold and he pushed again, a long keening cry filling the room as the head lodged in Dean’s opening at the widest point. “Oh fuck, it burns!”

“Dad, the head’s almost out!” Sam exclaimed. “What do I do now?”

_“There are three things you boys need to do now. Dean, you need to breathe through the contractions and resist the urge to push, otherwise you’re going to tear yourself. Sam, you need to massage the skin of Dean’s opening and help the baby’s head the rest of the way out. And once the head is out, you need to check to make sure the cord isn’t wrapped around the baby’s neck.”_

Dean groaned as he tried his damnedest not to push, even though every fiber of his being was telling him that was the right thing to do. Sam was speechless as he placed shaking fingers against the baby’s skull, massaging the stretched skin of Dean’s opening around it. He couldn’t believe he was doing this; holding his niece or nephew in his hand as his brother brought them into the world. 

Sam watched the baby’s head emerge inch by inch as the contracting muscles of his brother’s body guided it into Sam’s waiting hand. His fingers slipped briefly into Dean’s opening and he couldn’t help the sigh of relief that left him when he didn’t encounter the umbilical cord. “Okay Dean, the baby’s head is out. It’s safe for you to push again. You’re going to need to push hard to get the shoulders out.”

Dean nodded, dropping his head and letting out a long breath. He pushed with all his might, grunting like an animal as the shoulders slowly began to pass from him. He let out a guttural shout and Sam was scrambling to catch the small body that slipped from his brother.

“You did it Dean! You did it!” Sam gasped in surprise as he reached to his side and grabbed the bulb to clear the baby’s airways. He rubbed a towel across the bloody body, a happy sob escaping his throat as an unhappy squall filled the room.

 _“I knew you could do it Dean. You’re so strong,”_ John remarked, his voice thick with tears.

“Wh-what is it?” Dean asked as he collapsed onto his side, sweat soaked hair sticking to his forehead.

“It’s a girl! Dean, you have a beautiful little daughter. Do you want to hold her?” Sam held the child out to his brother. Dean nodded, shakily getting to his knees so Sam could transfer his daughter to him.

“Hey gorgeous, I’m your dad. You know how to make an entrance, don’t you princess? You weren’t supposed to come for another month. Your other daddy isn’t even here to say hello in person. You’re going to be a troublemaker when you’re older, aren’t you?” Dean said softly, smiling down at his daughter.

_“Have you thought of a name yet, Dean? I know we had some boys names picked out, but we hadn’t really talked about girls.”_

Dean leaned down and pressed his lips to the soft thatch of brown hair atop his daughter’s head. “Ryan. Ryan Alexa Winchester.”

_“That’s beautiful Dean. It’s perfect.”_

Dean groaned as a contraction took him by surprise, and he had to stop himself from tightening his grip on Ryan. “Sam, I need you to take Ryan.” He all but shoved Ryan into Sam’s arms, a hand cupping the swell of his stomach.

“It’s just the afterbirth Dean. It’ll pass as you bond with Ryan. Here take her,” Sam stated.

Dean shook his head, moaning lowly. “This is different. I gotta push!” Dean gritted his teeth, grunting as he gave a huge push and another little body slid from his own. 

Dean reached down between his legs and brought the second child up. Dean’s heart stopped in his chest and the breath left his lungs. He held a tiny little boy in his hands, cord wrapped around his neck and skin blue. “No! No, no, no! No, please!” Dean cried as he pulled the cord away and cleared the baby’s mouth with a finger.

Sam set Ryan down on a pile of towels and took the infant from Dean’s arms. He sat down on the bed and placed the baby across his lap, suctioning out the remainder of fluid from its nose and mouth, slapping its bottom and rubbing the tiny body vigorously. “Come on, come on,” Sam muttered under his breath as he worked, praying to God to hear that squawking cry.

Sam worked for what felt like an eternity, the only sound in the room Dean’s own heart-breaking cries. Sam’s hand still on the infant’s back, his shoulders drooping. He looked up and caught his brother’s eyes, shaking his head. “I’m sorry Dean. I did everything I could.” Sam wrapped the baby in a towel and handed him back to Dean, who held the child to his chest and sobbed.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I am still here! dealing with personal stuff these past few weeks (and work stuff too) made it hard to find time to update. But here is a long chapter for those who are still reading! I love you all!
> 
> Much Love,  
> S

Sam watched his brother closely as he cleaned up the majority of the mess from the birth. Dean stared down at his son, stroking a thumb gently across his cheek to wipe away the tears that fell from Dean’s eyes. Ryan slept peacefully in the bassinet that Sam had brought in from the nursery, unaware of the brother she had lost. John had tried talking to Dean once Sam had taken him off speakerphone and explained what had happened, but Dean just cried. He refused to relinquish the hold he had on his son, not ready to say goodbye just yet.

Sam knelt down beside his grieving brother. “Dean, you’re going to have to let him go eventually. I know you don’t want to, but you have a daughter to think about. Ryan needs her dad. She won’t take a bottle from me and she needs to eat. Dean please, I don’t know what to do.”

“Sammy, what did I do wrong?” Dean whispered, the first words spoken since taking his son in his arms. He stared down at the cold body in his arms, wondering where in his pregnancy it all went wrong. “I ate healthy, I-I took all my vitamins and went to all my appointments. I did everything I was supposed to do to make sure they were okay. I didn’t even know I was pregnant with twins! None of the ultrasounds showed a second baby.”

“It was nothing you did, Dean. I know that’s hard to wrap your head around right now, but it’s true. Sometimes these things just happen and we have no control over them. But you have a beautiful, healthy daughter who needs her dad. And I need my big brother to tell me what to do,” Sam whispered the last sentence as he fought back tears. He was scared and needed Dean to tell him that it hadn’t been his fault either that his nephew died.

Dean looked up at the sound of his brother’s voice cracking. Tears slipped down Sam’s face, making him seem younger than his 16 years. “I-I don’t know what’s next. I don’t know if we should bury him now or wait for John to get home. I don’t know what to name him,” Dean mumbled. “John and I had talked about some names, but none of them feel right anymore.”

Sam put an arm around Dean, who had started to shiver. “You don’t have to name him right now if you’re not ready. We can wrap him up in a towel and put him in a shoebox until you’re ready.” Sam reached over and grabbed a soft fluffy towel from the pile they still had on the floor.

Dean placed his son in Sam’s arms, watching as his little brother wrapped the towel around the small body. “You’ll take good care of him, won’t you Sammy?” Dean asked softly.

Sam nodded. “Of course I will Dean. I won’t do anything without asking you first. Okay? Now why don’t you feed Ryan and then slip into something warm. You’re freezing, Dean.”

Dean looked up at Sam. “Wh-what are you going to do with him?”

“I’m going to lay him in a shoebox and then put that in the freezer. That way he’ll last until dad gets home.” Sam stood, going to the closet so that Dean could keep them both in his sight. “Maybe we can find a name for him together later. I’m sure we could think of something meaningful if we put our minds to it.”

Dean froze in the middle of the room. He hadn’t even realized he’d gotten up off the floor when Sam was talking. “I-I don’t want to talk about him until John gets back. I’m afraid I’ll just … shut down again.”

“Okay Dean, whatever you say.”

~~**~~

Sam made his way back up the stairs, two steaming cups of cocoa in his hands. He knew Dean would’ve much rather had coffee, but he wasn’t allowed to have caffeine while nursing Ryan. He’d placed his nephew’s body in the freezer while Dean fed Ryan. And if Sam took a few minutes too long because he’d broken down in tears, Dean didn’t need to know. He couldn’t stop the dark thoughts that clouded his mind.

“Even though you’ll never get to meet him out here, I know the two of you would’ve been the best of friends. Just like me and your uncle, inseparable.” Dean’s voice carried down from the open door of the master bedroom, and Sam paused to hear what he was saying. “I love you both very much, and I always will. And when you’re old enough to understand, I’ll tell you all about your brother. He won’t ever be forgotten.”

Sam smiled to himself; it was good for Dean to talk about his son. It would help him deal with the grief he felt and allow him to bond with Ryan. But more than anything, it would help Dean realize that it wasn’t his fault the baby was stillborn.

Sam knocked softly on the doorframe as not to startle his brother. “Dean, I made some cocoa if you’d like some. Extra mini marshmallows and cinnamon, just the way you like it.”

Dean smiled tiredly up at Sam, his eyes still red rimmed from crying. “Thanks Sammy, that sounds great right now. Let me just put Ryan down first.” He stood from the bed, shushing Ryan’s unhappy whimpers at being disturbed. He set her down in the bassinet, drawing a soft pink blanket up to her chin. “I love you so much, my sweet baby,” Dean whispered as he leaned down and pressed his lips to her downy blonde hair.

He took the offered cup from Sam’s outstretched hand and the two of them sat down on the bed, Sam tucking a leg under him. “Thanks Sammy. I know this isn’t how you planned to spend your Thursday night, but I’m glad you were here. I don’t what I would’ve done without you.”

Sam was quiet, chewing on his bottom lip. Tears brimmed in his eyes, slipping down his cheeks to drop into the brown liquid in his cup. 

“Sam? Is everything okay? Come on man, talk to me.”

Sam shook his head, a shaky breath stuttering from his lips. He swiped at the tears on his face with the back of his hand. “I’m fine Dean. Besides, you already said you don’t want to talk about it.”

Dean could see that Sam was battling with some heavy inner turmoil and although his heart still hurt to think about his son, his little brother needed him to listen. “No, it’s okay Sammy. I know you’ve got something big on your mind. Tell me.”

Sam gripped his cup tighter, refusing to look Dean in the eye. With what he was about to say, he couldn’t bear to see the moment Dean lost all respect for him. “I think … _I’m_ the reason he died.” Sam’s voice was quiet and wavering.

“What are you talking about? You said it yourself, sometimes these things just happen. There wasn’t anything we could do. It was out of our control.” Dean set his cup on the nightstand and scooted closer to Sam.

“I should’ve been more careful when I was trying to turn Ryan. The cord must have gotten wrapped around his neck when she turned head down. I’m sorry Dean, I didn’t mean to. Please don’t hate me.” Sam’s hands shook as he cried.

“Sam. Sammy!” Dean grabbed Sam by the shoulders, shaking him. “You gotta breathe dude. I can’t have you passing out on me.” Dean rubbed his hands up and down Sam’s arms, trying to calm his brother down. “That wasn’t your fault. And if you hadn’t been here to help turn her, I would’ve lost Ryan too. None of us knew I was having twins. He was so small Sammy, I don’t think he would’ve made it even without the cord around his neck.”

Sam’s shoulders slumped, the tears coming in force. Dean gathered Sam in his arms, holding him close. His chest tightened as panic set in, causing him to hyperventilate. Not only did Dean want nothing to do with him now, but what would their father think when he got home and found out the truth? He’d be furious that Sam didn’t pay more attention; that he hadn’t felt for another baby just in case.

“Hey now, don’t talk like that. I will always love you Sammy, you’re my little brother. And dad’s not going to be mad at you. He could never be mad at you for something that wasn’t your fault.” Dean squeezed Sam tightly, resting his chin on his shoulder. “The only thing I want you to remember is that you saved mine and Ryan’s lives tonight. You’re a hero Sammy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's probably only going to be one or two more chapters after this. Just a fair warning.
> 
> Much Love, S


End file.
